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OK...... look don't hold it against the messenger and I am not sexist and if you read
further you will find one for the guys too.  Got this in an email and found it amusing
and relatively clean and thought you might also.  We all have seen variations on
these themes in our daily lives.

1. Stating in a clear sweet voice, “Honey, we need to go to the ATM.”
2. Kiss ‘Honey’ on cheek after he volunteers and tuck a ‘short shopping list ’ in his shirt pocket.
3. Return to lounging before TV and eating Bonbons while playing with ‘Precious’.

1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Reverse back the required distance to align car with ATM
3. Re-start stalled engine
4. Open the car window
5. Find handbag, empty all contents onto the passenger seat and locate ATM card
6. Turn radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into ATM
8. Open car door to allow easier access to ATM due to excessive distance from car to ATM.
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Ignore the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
12. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate diary with
        PIN written on the inside back page under "Date of Birth"
13. Enter PIN
14. Press "cancel" and re-enter PIN
15. Enter amount of cash required and check make-up in rear view mirror
16. Drum fingertips on steering wheel, look at ATM for one minute and then press "enter"
17. Retrieve cash and receipt
18. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate purse and place cash inside
19. Place receipt in back of checkbook
20. Re-check make-up
21. Drive forward two yards
22. Reverse back to ATM ignoring the sound of car horn from vehicle behind
23. Retrieve card
24. Search contents of handbag (on passenger seat) to locate cardholder and place card in an empty slot
25. Drive two or three miles
26. Release parking brake

1. Drive up to the ATM
2. Open the car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and press "enter"
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Close window
7. Drive away

ATM PROCEDURE FOR MALE CUSTOMERS (as actually practiced):
1. Drive up to the ATM while complaining mentally at least, verbally if a buddy is with you,
        about how darn narrow those drive through lanes are getting and how dangerous
        those concrete filled steel poles are to fine paint jobs.
2. Open the car window after juggling ¾ gallon soft drink cup and in frustration of finding
        no place to put it, you decide the roof is a good place for it, you put it up there.
3. Glance at instructions on ATM.
4. Insert card into machine, call wife on cell and ask her to look under keyboard where
        all numbers are stored and enter the PIN she provides.
5. After PIN is rejected, begin complaining (as in #1 above) about how they make
        those keypads for people with small fingers. Recall wife again and irritate her again
        and reenter the same number she first provided.
6. Enter amount of cash required and stop to recalculate if you’re getting enough and press, "enter".
7. Turn half way around in the seat several seconds after the honking has stopped
        behind you and if the driver is
            a) female, smile and wave;
            b) male, smile and flip the bird.
8. Wondering what’s taking so long with the transaction you read the, now flashing
        display on the little screen, which informs you that there is a problem with your transaction
        and you need to start over.
9. Repeat steps 5 through 7 as many times as necessary until you adopt a slow deliberate
        manner to insure if a mistake is made this time, it’s the ATM’s fault, not yours.
10. Retrieve cash, card and receipt. Cash is folded around card with a practiced one-hand
        technique and placed in shirt pocket. Receipt is crumpled and it somehow magically
        disappears (and is only to be found by the next owner of the vehicle).
        The list given by wife mysteriously disappears somewhere around this time as well.
        Which leads to free range memory being used in stores later. Which quite possibly
        leads to sleeping on the couch for the next night.
11. Close window while thinking about where you need to be sometime down the road.
12. Drive away, scarping chrome off your bumper on one of the concrete filled steel
         poles you commented on earlier.
13. Stop somewhere for another ¾ gallon soft drink to enjoy as you wash the last one
         from where it spilled on the roof and trunk or got dumped into the back of the truck.